The holiday season is fast approaching. What do you expect…doom and gloom or exuberant merrymaking? If you experience stress, let down or depression during the holidays; you are not alone. Family relationships can cause a lot of tension especially with relatives staying with you. Your kids may be going to their spouses family or your ex husbands house, and you might be alone for the holidays. Your budget may be strapped this year and you can’t seem to come up with the right gifts. With a little creative planning starting now, you can have a great holiday this year.
First, make a list of all the things that bring you joy: your family, friends, foods that nurture you, pets, things that make you feel special. Find something every day that makes you smile, and write it down. It could be the way leaves crunch under your feet, the smell of hot chocolate or the holiday window decorations. Gather photographs that you have taken, or find photos in magazines or old cards that make you feel warm and loving inside. Put them together in an envelope or fill an old shoe box. When you find them bulging get a piece of cardboard and make a collage. Put up your happy collage and take a photo of it. Carry it in your wallet or put it in your car. Then when something is getting you down, you have a visual reminder of what makes you feel good.
Consider making a special present for your family or friends; a book of gratitude. For the next several weeks, write down everything you like about the people in your life, what they have done for you or others. For example: “I like the way you are kind to my mother and send her pictures of the baby all the time. I appreciate how you volunteer time to be a scout leader. I am grateful that you listen to me. I am grateful for your companionship and the gentle way you hold my hand when I am sad.” Make a beautiful book for the family or the individual. This gift & art from the heart will make you feel wonderful as well as the people in your life.
Finally, in this great time of upheaval and worry we need to consider being of service to those less fortunate. If you have young children let them be part of the decision making who you serve and what you do. Make a list. Feed the homeless, bake cookies for friends, and write a letter to serviceman. Have the kid’s help you pick out toys, books and art supplies and make baskets to give to the local shelter. It might be as simple as making a giant card and delivering a bouquet of flowers or balloons to decorate the nurses’ station at a local hospital. Consider each week doing one random act of kindness.
When I got divorced and spent my first holiday alone it was devastating. It was so lonely. So I made sure to host a girls Thanksgiving the week before the holiday. I made plans then to volunteer time during the holidays. It changed everything. Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” This holiday season you have an opportunity to have “new eyes” and create new family traditions that celebrate joy, gratitude and service. Happy Holidays.
Rae Luskin is an artist, author, teacher and community activist. She is a leader is using creative expression to foster self –esteem, resilience, healing and social change. To find out more go to www.raeluskin.net
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