Don’t Let the Grinch Steal your Holidays

The holiday season is fast approaching. What do you expect…doom and gloom or exuberant merrymaking? If you experience stress, let down or depression during the holidays; you are not alone. Family relationships can cause a lot of tension especially with relatives staying with you. Your kids may be going to their spouses family or your ex husbands house, and you might be alone for the holidays. Your budget may be strapped this year and you can’t seem to come up with the right gifts. With a little creative planning starting now, you can have a great holiday this year.

First, make a list of all the things that bring you joy: your family, friends, foods that nurture you, pets, things that make you feel special. Find something every day that makes you smile, and write it down. It could be the way leaves crunch under your feet, the smell of hot chocolate or the holiday window decorations. Gather photographs that you have taken, or find photos in magazines or old cards that make you feel warm and loving inside. Put them together in an envelope or fill an old shoe box. When you find them bulging get a piece of cardboard and make a collage. Put up your happy collage and take a photo of it. Carry it in your wallet or put it in your car. Then when something is getting you down, you have a visual reminder of what makes you feel good.

Consider making a special present for your family or friends; a book of gratitude. For the next several weeks, write down everything you like about the people in your life, what they have done for you or others. For example: “I like the way you are kind to my mother and send her pictures of the baby all the time. I appreciate how you volunteer time to be a scout leader. I am grateful that you listen to me. I am grateful for your companionship and the gentle way you hold my hand when I am sad.” Make a beautiful book for the family or the individual. This gift & art from the heart will make you feel wonderful as well as the people in your life.

Finally, in this great time of upheaval and worry we need to consider being of service to those less fortunate. If you have young children let them be part of the decision making who you serve and what you do. Make a list. Feed the homeless, bake cookies for friends, and write a letter to serviceman. Have the kid’s help you pick out toys, books and art supplies and make baskets to give to the local shelter. It might be as simple as making a giant card and delivering a bouquet of flowers or balloons to decorate the nurses’ station at a local hospital. Consider each week doing one random act of kindness.

When I got divorced and spent my first holiday alone it was devastating. It was so lonely. So I made sure to host a girls Thanksgiving the week before the holiday. I made plans then to volunteer time during the holidays. It changed everything. Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” This holiday season you have an opportunity to have “new eyes” and create new family traditions that celebrate joy, gratitude and service. Happy Holidays.

Rae Luskin is an artist, author, teacher and community activist. She is a leader is using creative expression to foster self –esteem, resilience, healing and social change. To find out more go to www.raeluskin.net

The Secret Life of Diva Rae

I was attending a retreat several months ago and I decided to play hooky. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon and I just could not sit inside one more minute. I roamed around the pool area and found two more compatriots. They were talking about creating a fun bio, based on one they had seen about Suzie Orman, the financial guru, in Readers Digest.

As part of our yearlong Sassy mentorship program we had written our biographies. We had spent months coming up with the right, “juicy” words that described who we were and what we did. But it was only one part of us. It seemed too serious. We started asking each other a series of questions: If you were a Superhero what powers would you have? What is your favorite dessert, movie or book? If you could do anything beside what you are doing, what would it be? Who would you like to have a conversation with living or dead? If you could be an instrument what would you be and why? What kind of animal would you be?

As part of my personal healing from childhood trauma and abuse, (and we all have something that has caused us pain or worry,) I often wrote little vignettes or stories about the Lady in Red. Recently, I wrote a fairy tale called the Adventures of Diva Rae. Unfortunately, diva has gotten a bad reputation. She is often described as a spoiled brat or prima donna rather than the outstanding, stupendous and exceptional talent that I know we all are. I wondered how she would describe herself, her life experiences, her wishes and dreams.  Here is the answer.

The Secret Life of Diva Rae: twelve dreams that make me get out of bed every single day.

1.   Being creative: from the time I was six and I had Miss Rae’s Art School; to learning to read tarot cards and tea leaves; or taking candid photographs of laundry around the world; to writing Art From My Heart a creative workbook for families.

2.   Loving in a big way: being involved with family and friends in nurturing, compassionate and deep heartfelt ways. Having agreed to disagree conversations with my adult children and getting to be GRANDMA (Raspberry kisses, make believe and magic).

3.   Helping others: from the time I was a little girl and I saw Shirley Temple in the movie Heidi, I knew that I had to help the Clara’s of the world; people who had grown comfortable in their pain and circumstances, frightened to reach out toward healing, wholeness and joy.

4.   Engaging in guilty pleasures: watching General Hospital, So You Think You can Dance and Castle. Some days you just have to be a coach potato.

5.  Exploring: visiting new and exciting places while experiencing new cultures and hearing people’s stories:  riding a camel across the desert in Israel; eating fish and chips in front of the television with the owner of my New Zealand B and B; or belly dancing in a local restaurant in Morocco.

 6.   Finding the fun in life: being able to laugh at myself and the things I have tried all in the name of losing weight or healing: shake rattle and roll machines; all the chocolate cream filled donuts you can eat while walking on the treadmill; sitting in the car at midnight, waiting for the train to go by while I screamed at the top of my lungs.

7.   Standing in my power: or Diva Rae singing in public, draped across the piano in a purple sequined gown, a sultry version of the itsy bitsy spider in all of her sensual splendor. (LOL)

8.   Breaking the rules or redefining them:  having dessert for breakfast (crème Brule and coffee ice cream with gold brick topping and marshmallow fluff); saying NO to friends and families unreasonable and sometimes reasonable requests; and starting a new business at age 59.

9.   Wearing glitz and glitter: dressing to please the Diva in me with exquisite, vibrant colored clothes, beaded shawls, and bold, big pieces of jewelry.

10.  Being deeply grateful and in a state of grace: as a spiritual eclectic, studying eastern and western religions; attending different services around the world; taking what I want and leaving the rest.

11.   Escaping to serenity: take delicious bubble baths with candles and scented oils; walks along the beach with the sun gently caressing my cheek, the gulls flying overhead and the water lapping at my feet; or dancing under the stars with the love of my life.

12.  Living life in Technicolor: enjoying an out of the box, bodacious and succulent life based on my own unique self expression, unlimited possibilities and coloring outside the lines.

No matter what your past, you can choose to live creatively, passionately and joyfully at every moment. You can live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Find the DIVA in you.

Rae Luskin, a Chicago artist, teacher, activist and the author of ART FROM MY HEART, is a leader in using creative expression to foster self-worth, resilience, healing and social change. If you want to find my traditional biography go to the about me page at www.raeluskin.net You can reach me at rae@raeluskin.net